I’ll let you in on a secret. I’m afraid of being bored. The great Theodore Millon would call this personality type turbulent. I chase all the things with such fervor and high expectations of myself that the only natural response is to then feel totally depleted of energy. But then a new day comes, my energy is restored with the sunshine, and we start the process again. As a quintessential Enneagram One, I’m always reaching for that sunny Seven space where I belong! I love the sun, happiness, laughs, and intellectually stimulating conversations! But alas, the world is dark and not sunny. This is why I overwork myself, trying to make the world a better place before the darkness closes in.

As a psychologist, this turbulence has meant investigating the stuff that was hard and messy but endlessly fascinating, the stuff that no one else wanted to talk about because it was taboo, different, scary, or complex. It meant interning for the FBI in my doctoral program while writing my dissertation, while also placing in the semi-finals for Latin ballroom dance. Why? Because I needed more plates spinning, just in case I grew bored. It took owning my own business while spinning 500 other plates to realize… oh shoot… It’s not just boredom I’m running from.

It’s darkness itself.

Now, this might sound counterintuitive since I studied darkness and was on track to become either a forensic psychologist or an FBI agent and criminal profiler…. That doesn’t sound like running from darkness, right? This is where it gets complicated, as personality often does.

It’s one thing to study darkness as a researcher and student. It’s another thing to tango with it. If I could just keep it at a distance, then we’re all better for it, right? I’ll just help but not get too close. In my academic bubble, I didn’t realize that to sit in the scut with humans also means you get rocked. You get pulled. You get up close and personal with darkness. I’m not comfortable with that!!!

But it’s my calling… like, literally… This is the calling placed on my life at a very young age. I can’t just walk away because I’m uncomfortable! Tempting, but no. To stay in my calling as a psychologist meant I couldn’t run. There had to be another option.

And then it hit me.

If darkness is inescapable and the universe seems to disentomb its deepest, darkest secrets and lay them at my feet as if they’re asking to be exposed into the light…I might as well get comfortable.

So I pulled up a chair and listened and learned…. to name things… not from a distance as a researcher would, but in a personal, intimate way. And over time, this led me to become a Sherlock Holmes of personality puzzles.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m still not comfortable when these skeletons from whatever crevice they were shoved in…. seem to find me… But I at least know them by name. And knowing them by name means I know the games they play. And to know the games they play means I know how to respond. And now, I get to share this knowledge with you.

Are you ready to name the personality skeletons popping up in your life? You don’t have to go it alone. Let’s dive in… together!